Birthday Scene: 12 Hard Lessons I Learned this Year

Reflecting on the past year, I realize it might be the most significant year of personal growth I’ve experienced. Those who are close to me reading this will likely agree. This year has been a rollercoaster of intense growth: exciting highs and painful lows, each one offering a unique lesson and pushing me to evolve into someone new. I’m not the same person I was a year ago, and I’m constantly getting closer to the life I want.

I’m sharing these 12 hard lessons as a way to honor the journey and to hold myself accountable for continuing to apply them. True growth isn’t just about gaining insights but about taking action once we learn the lesson. It’s an ongoing process, a commitment to living authentically based on what we’ve discovered about ourselves.
In this post, I’ll share the 12 most powerful lessons that have reshaped my life. I hope that, in reading them, you might find lessons that resonate with your own life and inspire deeper reflection on your personal journey of growth.

1. My past is mine, not me:

This year, I realized how much I let my past and childhood shape my identity. Facing painful memories from my upbringing and seeing their impact on my self-talk, relationships, and views on success was tough but necessary to let go of the past.

Takeaway: One thing that helped me is accepting my past experiences without judgment. They don’t define who I am, they’re just a part of my story. Letting go of guilt and shame has opened up space for me to focus on creating the life I want.

2. I am responsible of my own condition:

After accepting my past, I had to face another tough truth: I’m fully responsible for how I feel and react every day. It’s tempting and easy to blame others: “He/She made me feel this way!” But the reality is, how I feel is about how I perceive it, not what others say or do. To keep my focus and stay grounded, my mentor put it perfectly: think of your mind as a garden, and you’re the watchdog. It’s your job to keep out the junk and pull out the weeds. This year, I learned that taking c⁹are of my mental space means filtering out negativity and controlling what I allow to affect me. It’s not easy, it’s a muscle that grows with time.

Takeaway: I’ve found that taking responsibility for how I feel, instead of blaming others is another level of growth. It’s not about controlling everything but about being mindful of what I allow into my mental space. For me,  journaling and movement help keep the “weeds” out.

3. Strong Body brings Strong Mind:

We can’t control everything that happens around us, but we can control our mindset and how we react to challenges. I’ve learned that building muscle not only strengthens the body but also boosts resilience to stress, enhancing both physical and mental endurance. The stronger my body, the better I can handle stress and life’s ups and downs.

Takeaway: Building physical strength has also built me mental resilience. It’s amazing how working out helps with stress and life’s challenges. If you’re like me and aren’t a gym fan, start with something small and consistent, it really adds up.

4. I am Made for the Challenges that come my way:

Building on the strength of my body and mind, I learned this year that the challenges we face are never beyond our ability to handle. We’re given hardships because we have the mental and emotional strength to overcome them.

Takeaway: Remind myself to see challenges as chances to grow. It’s been a shift in mindset to believe that I am meant to handle the things life throws my way, even when they feel impossible at first.

5. No Such Thing as Bad Emotions:

There were times when I’d wake up feeling sad, or something would happen that made me feel guilty or ashamed. For a long time, I believed these emotions were “bad”, and I shouldn’t feel. But this year, I realized that no emotion is inherently bad. Changing my perspective on emotions allowed me to accept them without judgment and let go of the need to fight or resist them. I ask myself: What can I learn from this? How can I avoid this situation next time? Most importantly, I allow myself to feel the emotion fully, accept it, and take care of myself, whether it’s going for a walk, exercising, or simply being kind to myself.

Takeaway: Emotions aren’t “bad” or “good” they just are. Feeling them fully and reflecting on what they’re trying to tell me has been helpful. It’s a way to grow and take better care of myself.

6. I Can’t Outsource an Inside Job:

A very wise sentence was said by my mentor in one of my coaching sessions. For years, I chased satisfaction through work, achievements, and external validation, believing they’d bring me happiness. But the hard truth: no job, accomplishment, or person can provide lasting fulfillment. Relying on external factors leaves my self-worth at the mercy of things I can’t control. True happiness comes from within. When I’m at peace with who I am, everything else becomes a bonus, not the source of my joy.

Takeaway: Happiness really does start from within. Achievements and validation are great, but they’re bonuses. Peace and contentment come from being okay with who you are..

 

7. Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome:

Embracing Growth as a Performer

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is to find joy in the journey, not just the destination. As a performer, it’s easy to slip into self-criticism and constantly push for perfection. But real growth happens when I embrace the process. It’s not just about delivering a flawless final performance, it’s about the improvement that comes from showing up and practicing consistently. The true reward lies in the work I put in each day, measuring progress by how far I’ve come and how much further I can go.

Takeaway: The true reward lies in the daily progress, not just the final performance. Growth happens in the effort, the practice, and the commitment to the journey.

8. Beware of Where and How I Invest My Time and Energy:

One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is how crucial it is to be mindful of where I invest my time and energy. Whether it’s working toward a goal, staying consistent with my workouts, or choosing the people I surround myself with; how I spend my time directly impacts my progress and performance. I’ve learned that being intentional about where I put my focus is key to ensuring the quality of my work and growth. Time is a limited resource, and how I use it truly shapes outcomes.

Takeaway: Be intentional about where I invest my time and energy. It’s helped me focus on what truly matters and avoid burnout. Time is precious, and where we put our focus shapes our growth.

7. Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome:

Embracing Growth as a Performer

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is to find joy in the journey, not just the destination. As a performer, it’s easy to slip into self-criticism and constantly push for perfection. But real growth happens when I embrace the process. It’s not just about delivering a flawless final performance, it’s about the improvement that comes from showing up and practicing consistently. The true reward lies in the work I put in each day, measuring progress by how far I’ve come and how much further I can go.

Takeaway: The true reward lies in the daily progress, not just the final performance. Growth happens in the effort, the practice, and the commitment to the journey.

8. Beware of Where and How I Invest My Time and Energy:

One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is how crucial it is to be mindful of where I invest my time and energy. Whether it’s working toward a goal, staying consistent with my workouts, or choosing the people I surround myself with; how I spend my time directly impacts my progress and performance. I’ve learned that being intentional about where I put my focus is key to ensuring the quality of my work and growth. Time is a limited resource, and how I use it truly shapes outcomes.

Takeaway: Be intentional about where I invest my time and energy. It’s helped me focus on what truly matters and avoid burnout. Time is precious, and where we put our focus shapes our growth.

9. Knowing is not enough:

I’ve learned that taking advice from Instagram posts, listening to podcasts, or reading self-help books won’t create real change in my life. Knowledge is only powerful when put into action. The key to a purposeful life is through action. Creating new habits, reaching my goals, and optimizing my life lies in applying what I’ve learned. It’s the actions I take, day by day, that shape the life I want. Action is what leads to creation.

Takeaway: Real change happens when we take action on what we’ve learned, even in small, consistent steps. Progress is built on practice, not just understanding.

10. Loss: An Opportunity for New Beginnings:

Loss comes in many forms: losing people, losing parts of ourselves, a community, or habits that once defined us. For me, it was the loss of a part of who I thought I was—a shift in my identity that I wasn’t ready for. It wasn’t just about the external change, but the internal conflict of realizing I had to let go of old beliefs and patterns that no longer served me.

Takeaway: Loss isn’t just about what we lose; it’s also about the space it creates for new things. Letting go of who we think we are, and our beliefs can be painful, but it opens the door for a different life.

11. Money Is a Tool, Not a Measure of Worth:

This year, I’ve realized how deeply my mindset about money shapes its flow into my life. Viewing money as scarce or stressful creates fear and resistance, blocking abundance. Many of us grow up attaching our worth to wealth, which only adds pressure. Shifting my perspective to see money as a supportive tool for growth has transformed my relationship with it. Attracting money isn’t just about intention, it requires aligned action. Setting financial goals, managing resources wisely, and exploring new income streams have been key steps in this ongoing shift in perspective. I’ve also learned that how I treat money reflects my energy towards it. By approaching it with balance and trust, I’ve found peace and a healthier financial mindset (even if I have still a lot to learn).

Takeaway: Your mindset about money shapes how it flows into your life. Pair trust and gratitude with intentional actions, and money will become a tool that serves your highest good.

12. We are no better than our parents:

This lesson was tough to swallow. On my healing journey, I realized that many of my habits—both good and bad—were shaped by my parents. I blamed them for certain things: how they handled conflict, their views on life, their relationships, and habits. My arrogance had me believe that I was somehow better, especially after gaining some self-awareness. But the hard truth is, I’m just like them. I inherited the same habits because that’s what I grew up around.

Takeaway: Our parents did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Blaming them doesn’t help; taking responsibility for our own growth does. It’s about breaking patterns and building better habits.

Conclusion: A Work in Progress

These 12 lessons all have one thing in common: they’re not quick fixes but ongoing practices—small, daily efforts that bring a new reality. Growth isn’t a finish line; it’s a journey I am taking one step at a time. The key is consistency—showing up each day and doing my best to apply what I’ve learned every time I get the chance. Every day is an opportunity to grow a little more and get closer to the person I want to become. Here’s to a new year filled with growth, learning, and even more progress!

 

9. Knowing is not enough:

I’ve learned that taking advice from Instagram posts, listening to podcasts, or reading self-help books won’t create real change in my life. Knowledge is only powerful when put into action. The key to a purposeful life is through action. Creating new habits, reaching my goals, and optimizing my life lies in applying what I’ve learned. It’s the actions I take, day by day, that shape the life I want. Action is what leads to creation.

Takeaway: Real change happens when we take action on what we’ve learned, even in small, consistent steps. Progress is built on practice, not just understanding.

10. Loss: An Opportunity for New Beginnings:

Loss comes in many forms: losing people, losing parts of ourselves, a community, or habits that once defined us. For me, it was the loss of a part of who I thought I was—a shift in my identity that I wasn’t ready for. It wasn’t just about the external change, but the internal conflict of realizing I had to let go of old beliefs and patterns that no longer served me.

Takeaway: Loss isn’t just about what we lose; it’s also about the space it creates for new things. Letting go of who we think we are, and our beliefs can be painful, but it opens the door for a different life.

11. Money Is a Tool, Not a Measure of Worth:

This year, I’ve realized how deeply my mindset about money shapes its flow into my life. Viewing money as scarce or stressful creates fear and resistance, blocking abundance. Many of us grow up attaching our worth to wealth, which only adds pressure. Shifting my perspective to see money as a supportive tool for growth has transformed my relationship with it. Attracting money isn’t just about intention, it requires aligned action. Setting financial goals, managing resources wisely, and exploring new income streams have been key steps in this ongoing shift in perspective. I’ve also learned that how I treat money reflects my energy towards it. By approaching it with balance and trust, I’ve found peace and a healthier financial mindset (even if I have still a lot to learn).

Takeaway: Your mindset about money shapes how it flows into your life. Pair trust and gratitude with intentional actions, and money will become a tool that serves your highest good.

12. We are no better than our parents:

This lesson was tough to swallow. On my healing journey, I realized that many of my habits—both good and bad—were shaped by my parents. I blamed them for certain things: how they handled conflict, their views on life, their relationships, and habits. My arrogance had me believe that I was somehow better, especially after gaining some self-awareness. But the hard truth is, I’m just like them. I inherited the same habits because that’s what I grew up around.

Takeaway: Our parents did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Blaming them doesn’t help; taking responsibility for our own growth does. It’s about breaking patterns and building better habits.

 

Conclusion: A Work in Progress

These 12 lessons all have one thing in common: they’re not quick fixes but ongoing practices—small, daily efforts that bring a new reality. Growth isn’t a finish line; it’s a journey I am taking one step at a time. The key is consistency—showing up each day and doing my best to apply what I’ve learned every time I get the chance. Every day is an opportunity to grow a little more and get closer to the person I want to become. Here’s to a new year filled with growth, learning, and even more progress!